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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Knowing is Beyond Trying

I can try all I want, but if I fail, I can start over. If I know all I want, I won't fail, and I don't have to start over. The key is to never give up, to keep trying, and if something doesn't work, try again. I know what does work for me and will work for the majority of people who give it their all. That is to know God and to give it all to Him.

Today the devil tried to contact me with deceit. An old friend's girlfriend contacted me and said she was going to pick up my old friend from jail tonight. She mentioned new beginnings. I know in my heart that they will be using again probably by this weekend. I sent her a message telling her and my old friend not to contact me and that I couldn't hang out with them anymore. I told them not to take it personal because I'm doing it for myself. It felt good to do this.

Psalm 96 4-6

For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the nations are idols, but the Lord made the heavens. Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and glory are in his sanctuary.

My idols used to be drugs. I regarded them as giving me strength, making me happy when I was sad, and giving me power. But false idols leave an emptiness. This emptiness was never fulfilled and continued to eat at my soul until I opened my heart to God. Thank You God, Thank You Lord Jesus Christ, and The Holy Spirit. Thank You for opening my heart and allowing me to see You again. My vision was blinded by the devil. My vision is corrected.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Absolved of My Sins

After work today, I went to confession. I haven't been to confession in about two years. It was suggested to me that I go more than once, but the devil did not want me to be absolved of my sins. Satan and his serpents wanted me to collect more sins until the bitter end.

Following confession was a mass with the Annointing of the Sick. This is done once a year during holy week in the Catholic Church. It begins with the priest laying his hands on your shoulders. When he did this, I felt a shiver go through my body. He did this for all the sick people attending mass who stood up. Next, he blessed the forehead and hands with a holy oil blessed by the Bishop in God's name to give the sick God's strength and heal them with the Holy Spirit. At first doubts came to my mind, but the devil wants you to doubt so he can remain in your heart. I opened my heart to God and asked him to enter it. I could feel Saint Michael, my Guardian Angel, and The Holy Spirit slaying the serpent in my heart. I could feel the serpent wriggling out and running like a coward.

When I prayed for God to guide me with His scripture for this blog and opened the Bible to a random page. It was Isaiah 38: Hezekiah's Illness. Everybody should read this chapter in the bible, especially those struggling with addiction.

Isaiah 38:15-17

But what can I say? He has spoken to me, and He Himself has done this. I will walk humbly all my years because of this anguish of my soul. Lord, by such things men live; and my spirit finds life in them too. You restored me to health and let me live. Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In Your love You kept me from the pit of destruction; You have put all my sins behind Your back.

Thank You God, Lord Jesus Christ the Savior, and The Holy Spirit. Thank You for healing me and restoring me to health. I am humbled.

Monday, March 29, 2010

The First Sign

This morning I woke up and the first thing I did was pray. I thanked God for waking me up alive and healthy and I asked Him to guide me through the day.

I also faced one of my fears. On the way to my friend's house the thought entered my mind that I would be passing the street for which the house is on that I've relapsed the last eight times. However I passed the street twice (on the way there and on the way back) and didn't even realize I passed it until I was about a mile away each time. Thank you Lord Jesus Christ for giving me the strength to endure the struggle.

The title of this blog (Forever Like the Moon) was chosen from me praying to God to help me with the title and pseudonym for this blog. Yesterday, I opened the bible to a random page and there staring me in the face were the title and pseudonym.

Today I was standing outside and I caught myself staring at the moon. I began to notice it's intense glow and shimmering fog and I texted my friend to see if it was a full moon. He said it was and I went inside and started pacing back and forth and kept getting subtle shivers. I knew this was the first sign.


No harm befalls the righteous, but the wicked have their fill of trouble.

I was wicked for many years, filled with hate, deceit, manipulation, un-truthfulness, and doubting the existance of God. I can tell you I caused myself great harm. In order for me to rid myself of harm, today I will be righteous. I will do the right thing according to God's will. It sounds so simple to know the difference between right and wrong, and not one of us is perfect to always know what is right and wrong. To practice what is right and wrong is the key to fullfilling God's will. Thank you God, Lord Jesus Christ, and The Holy Spirit. Thank You for showing me what is right and what is wrong.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Devil is a Liar

I am an addict. But I am also a true believer in God, The Lord Jesus Christ, and The Holy Spirit . This is my first blog and it's purpose is to help me and help others deal with addiction. Addiction is a disease for which there is no known cure. However, it is a manageable disease and can be arrested. I know I can arrest my addiction. Friday night, I relapsed for the eighth time in eight months. Eight months ago was the first time I tried to get help for my addiction and admitted I was an addict. I've been using for about ten years. What I used is of no importance and is irrelevant. Forever Like The Moon is going to be focused on recovery, because if you are an addict, you already know about addiction. I'm going to end each blog off with a bible verse or verses.

PSALM 89:19

Once you spoke in a vision, to your faithful people you said: "I have bestowed strength on a warrior; I have exalted a young man from among the people."

To truely arrest my addiction, I know I have to speak with God and know that he is with me at all times. I can never doubt his presence. For when doubt comes into mind about God, the devil will take advantage immediately and enter your mind. I spoke to God last night and he gave me a message. He said, "Follow My will and do as I say and you will be rewarded. But the reward will not come from Me, but from yourself."

God has bestowed strength on me and I am a warrior, for I am at war with my disease. In order to win this battle, I will need God's strength. A good friend of mine bought me a Bible last night as I did not have one. I believe this is the best gift I ever received. In order to know and understand God's word, you have to learn about God's word. Thank you God and thank you Lord Jesus Christ the Savior for my life that I have now. Thank you for the pain that I have endured and suffered for I could not become the man I am supposed to be without this pain.