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Friday, May 28, 2010

One In the Same

I like to hear about recovery. We all know how to use and all have the same war stories. I don't enjoy hearing those stories. They are worthless and should be let go. We will never forget them, but we don't have to dwell on them. See, I have a lot in common with addicts from all walks of life. Same situation, same problem, different object(s) addicted to. I can't arrest your problem, but I can arrest mine. Handcuffs and thrown in the back of the cop car. I'm taking my addiction to the holding cell. Facing the judge, my addiction is sentenced to life without parole.

JOB 32:20

I must speak and find relief; I must open my lips and reply.

I was quit about my addiction. I didn't admit I was an addict until last August after ten years of drug and alcohol addiction. If I do not reply to God's word, who will hear me? Thank You God, Thank You Lord Jesus Christ, and The Holy Spirit. Thank You for allowing me to hear You and speak Your words.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Roots and Ladders

I'm going to call it the Progressive Ladder. Associated with other terms such as "the gateway drug" and "addiction substitute", this instance of addiction can be traced to many addicts, including myself. In many cases the root starts out with nicotine or caffeine (two legal and less mild stimulants). Then it goes to some more socially accepted drugs, such as alcohol or marijuana(or Mr. Smiley). Then the next step is one or the other of the beforehand two. On up the ladder, and more powerful drugs come into play such as cocaine, crack, heroin, meth, exstacy, oxycontin, and vicodin. Some only do one of these, while some do a couple and a few addicts do every and any drug they can get their hands on.

The acute link of this term is that it doesn't always happen over a length or period of time. It can happen in one night. An addict can start off my chugging a Mountain Dew. They then get the energy to go out and drink some alcohol. Next thing you know, they are smoking a joint. And then it's off to the races to get the "good stuff". The irony of it all is that the addict woke up that morning not intending to relapse.

ECCLESIASTES 4:9

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

I was alone. I didn't think I needed anybody to help me up. But God showed me He is a friend no matter what. Unconditional friendship and love is unparalleled. Thank You God, Thank You Lord Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit. Thank You for helping me up.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Split Second

I just got putting in a 16.75 hour day. What fun, but this was good for me. I went to the Indiana Auditor's conference as we were hosting a dinner for some of our customers. There were quite a few people drinking including customers and employees, about one-hundred in all. I was able to abstain from drinking and also drove everybody home from Fort Wayne. Drinking lemonade, I was able to have fun without being drunk. It's important for me to realize that I can have fun staying sober. I need to get some sleep as it's almost one in the morning and I need to be at work at seven-thirty in the morning. Good night and sober tight.

PSALM 143:10

Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

When I was using, I didn't want God to teach me, I thought I could teach God. Thank You God, Lord Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit. Thank You for showing me that You are my teacher. Lead me to do Your will.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

As We Conquer

Intriguingly so, the question to the answer awaits in the hearts of angels. All around the globe there is addiction afflicting many nations and cultures. Rampant so that poverty and disease spread like dandelions. Anything can be arrested, but correcting the erroneous behavior is only done where written so is practiced through the word of God. Nonetheless, treating a disease as a personality will further damage the recovery. Tonight I know where my heart is. It's beating in the hand of God.

PROVERBS 16:2

All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.

There used to be ulterior motives to my ways when I was chasing my next high. Thank You God, Thank You Lord Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit. Thank You for allowing my ways to be direct and in the eyes of You.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Eye On the Prize

I know this is what is going to happen. I'm going to remain sober abstaining from drugs and not giving in to temptation. Moving forward and not stumbling backwards into the past. Remembrance of dark times clouded by violent storms and violet promises. Red for the intensity of the pain and blue for the wave of deceit. Having a memory of what was and how bad it was. Thoughts of how good it can be and how deep I need to see. No time for lackluster finishes and spotted cleanings. Washing away the heat and welcoming the cool breeze. My retina relaxes and a mist uncovers a rebirth.

PSALM 107:42

The upright see and rejoice, but all the wicked shut their mouths.

When I was living in sin, I did not speak of God, I could not see him. Thank You God, Thank You Lord Jesus Christ, and The Holy Spirit. Thank You for showing me You and allowing me to open my mouth to praise Your glory.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Sun Rays

Went to the beach today and really enjoyed the warmth. It's nice to absorb the sun's light and feel the relaxation. I once heard that Vitamin D is very good for the health overall and the sun provides a plethora of it. Today was also Pentecost Sunday. A very important day as The Holy Spirit came today. At service today, I closed my eyes and praying could feel The Holy Spirit go through my body. It was like a body weaving through my soul. Replenishing The Holy Spirit is revitalizing. It can re-charge the mind and body, just like the sun. Shine upon me Holy Spirit. Light my path.

PROVERBS 28:5

Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the Lord understand it fully.

When I was full of sin, I thought I was above justice, in the legal system and with God. Thank You God, Thank You Lord Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit. Thank You for allowing me understand justice and abide by Your rules.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Absent Time

This one thing was digging into my thoughts. I kept thinking how great it was to be sober. That's the realization. I know was needs to be done. I just can't slip into that lull where I forgot how I got here. Next thing ya know, God becomes an afterthought instead of a constant ruler. The things He knows are infinite and they can not be defined. I now have to think of time as a precursor to how much elapsed between relapses so that it is a non-factor. The calendar is irrelevant as long as two things happen. I love God and I share that I love God.

JOB 38:19

"What is the way to the abode of light? And where does darkness reside?

The darkness definitely resides in addiction. Thank You God, Thank You Lord Jesus Christ, and The Holy Spirit. Thank You for showing me where darkness resides.